I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
