I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
