I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
