i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
