if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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