And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
