Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
