ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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