I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
