I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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