What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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