if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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