i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize