it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
