What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
