I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize