she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My penis needs a shock collar
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
