I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
