Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
