i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize