I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
