I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
