do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
