It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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