Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
