like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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