Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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