Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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