soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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