Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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