The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
