i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
