??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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