i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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