whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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