and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
