At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
