How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
