Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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