She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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