Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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