So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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