Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
