I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
