the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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