I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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