the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize