when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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