You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
