I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
