yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
