the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
