I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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