Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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(404): View more from Georgia

Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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(647): View more from Ontario

So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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(406): View more from Montana

Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night

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(740): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.

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