Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i

Replies (27) Good night (1424) Bad night (476)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.

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(773): Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem. http://tfl.nu/9i07

Replies (30) Good night (5197) Bad night (822)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK

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(508): he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK http://tfl.nu/no23

Replies (55) Good night (1013) Bad night (4224)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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(203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb

Replies (28) Good night (753) Bad night (3913)
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(914): View more from New York

just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

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(914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb

Replies (22) Good night (841) Bad night (3082)
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(802): View more from Vermont

It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.

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(802): It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside. http://tfl.nu/56u9

Replies (21) Good night (4157) Bad night (1289)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.

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(610): i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly. http://tfl.nu/8yco

Replies (12) Good night (1392) Bad night (2805)
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(916): View more from California

We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

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(916): We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench http://tfl.nu/ch9j

Replies (3) Good night (1882) Bad night (698)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why didn't I see you last night!?

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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(203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq

Replies (6) Good night (5200) Bad night (690)
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(334): View more from Alabama

You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.

(205): View more from Alabama

Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.

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(334): You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk. (205): Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner. http://tfl.nu/j3pe

Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (489)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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(479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9

Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (1476)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.

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(570): After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother. (1-570): Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off. http://tfl.nu/5ewz

Replies (6) Good night (1848) Bad night (447)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

(212): View more from New York

Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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(908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji

Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (400)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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(303): Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue http://tfl.nu/w6vq

Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (622)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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(814): Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months? http://tfl.nu/ebp4

Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (218)

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