Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.