Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?