Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.