I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.