Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
