My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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