is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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