I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
